losing everything.

After a week of FOCs and catching up with my new buddies,
i sat down and think, actually it was in front of the computer.
What have i missed during the midst of trying so hard to make friends and socializing with them?

#1: GOD. I was so sinful this week that i didn't include Him in watever i do and i was feeling the pressure and stress and commitment needed to be a Christian good enough for Him. But in the current situation I don't think I can move on, I miss services, miss the time suppose to spend with cell. How do I improve my relationship with Him?
After reading Candy's blog i just had to get the song from her entry:

I WANT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE

I just want to be where You are

Dwelling daily in Your presence

I don't want to worship from afar

Draw me near to where You are

I just want to be where You are

In Your dwelling place forever

Take me to the place where You are

I just want to be with You

I want to be where You are

Dwelling in Your presence

Feasting at Your table, surrounded by Your glory

In Your presence that's where I always want to be

I just want to be, I just want to be with You

#2: Friends
After FOCs, most of my old friends, we had been drifting apart.. I can feel it and it extremely strong, everyone had our own new sets of rules, new sets of tasks and responsibilities... They say Life is bound to have losses and gains and I really don't wish to lose all these precious of mine. :(
BUCK UP.

#3: Parts of myself
What happen to the enthusiastic learner? I feel that I been wasting my holidays and my freedom is totally shrinking! I am f$%king choking and I feel that the real me is being squeezed within. Sometimes I think, I should not have tried to be so greedy and get those "Wants", they are the ones which are suppose to set my soul free and instead they are choking me within. I WANT MORE and it refuses to stop wanting more. I feel horribly CRAPPED. I really need to be myself. AGAIN.

Decisions to make...
CRAPPED UP!
-ALISON KARASU HUIXIN is feeling crapped.