Been on ups and downs this few days because of the stupid doctor,
keep telling us lies and truths until I cannot differentiate anymore.
But it has been finalized that my grandma only have months to live,
if she is not under stress, she will have a year to live.
And why can't the doctor just tell me straight to point the other time that pancreatic cancer was not curable?
I rather he told me that then telling me where has he cut during the operation and all those useless things. ( ok.. maybe not that useless )
Everyone in the family ( including her ) has taken it as it is,
I think I am the only one who is getting all worked up for nth,
and to think that cell bio teacher told us that 2 in 3 people will have the chance to get cancer in their lives, and I pretty much will be facing a whole stretch of tortures in the near future.
I will tell myself this is nothing, the worst have not come.
The only thing I can do now is just to make her as happy as comfortable as she can to prolong the period.
And I am glad she could think so positive of this, guess my tears are not wasted after all :)

I am pretty much managed to embrace the pain. And learn the true meaning of being consoled, thanks those who have been there to show concern :) love u all. And marisa, yeah now it is the true time that I finally get to experience the pain u had the other time ;)

Verse:

When you say goodbye,

It cuts me like a knife.

When we were together,

You promised me forever.

Chorus:

Skies fade from blue to grey.

I'm tearing in the rain.

There's nothing you can say.

To save me.

Don't bother about me.

You can leave as you wish.

Teardrops fall down my cheeks.

Onto the ground.

kinda feel like the song right now, maybe now is the time I can finally get to sing this song with feelings and passion.
I gg to start praying as much as I can right now. And I have to apologize to God that I only search for Him when I am vulnerable.